Say Hello to My Little Friend

Owen has been a pill lately. He has a cold, which is disrupting his sleep, so it has been challenging to keep up with his antics. He seems to be into everything, with an appetite for destruction.

Yesterday, the only way I could check my email without him banging on my laptop was to let him rip open packets of Sweet 'n Low. White powder rained down on us while I typed.

"My dining room table looks like a scene from 'Scarface,'" I wrote to a friend. "Thank goodness it's almost naptime."

What happened next is reprinted below, verbatim. Or at least how my friend imagined it.

Bonnie: "Owen, time for your nap."

Owen/Tony Montana: "You know what? F*ck you. How about that?"

Bonnie: "You are just out of sorts today, little man."

Owen/Tony: "Hey, you don't give the orders around here. The only thing in this world that gives orders... is balls."

Bonnie: "Enough. You are taking a nap, and you don't get your bottle."

Owen/Tony: "You wanna waste my time? Okay. I call my lawyer. He's the best lawyer in Miami. He's such a good lawyer, that by tomorrow morning, you gonna be working in Alaska. So dress warm."

Bonnie (Picking Owen up and putting him to bed): "Have a nice nap."

Owen/Tony: " You think you can take me? You need a f*cking army if you gonna take me!"