Thank you, Adoptive Families magazine, for tipping me off to this column, "Adopting Asian Kids Becoming Latest Fad," in the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review earlier this summer. Thank you for raising my blood pressure to dangerous levels. And thank you for calling the columnist, Mike Seate, a major tool in this month's "Thumbs-Down" feature.
Seate rebukes adoptive parents who provide forever homes for children from Asia instead of adopting domestically -- and even questions whether we want to be parents or make a fashion statement.
"Since when did Asian children become 'must have' fashion accessories for upper middle-class Americans?," he writes. "Along with Calloway golf clubs and season tickets to football games, paying $30,000 to $40,000 to adopt an exotic baby is suddenly viewed as the most chic purchase this side of a pair of Manolo Blahnik pumps."
Where to start? To call my child "a chic purchase" makes me foam at the mouth.
Also, dude, WTF? When I finally held Owen in my arms for the first time, do you think I was thinking of my friends R and MED, the Queens of Accessorizing, and saying, "Top this, bitches!"
As if only children living in this country are deserving of families.
As if Owen shouldn't be here with me.
I've heard Seate's criticism before -- I've been asked "why are you going to Vietnam when there are children to adopt here?" It's a mildly annoying question -- with its underlying "buy American" assumption -- when it comes from a stranger or acquaintance, but it's infuriating when it comes from a newspaper columnist. You don't even need Google; just type in adoption.com, and in under 10 minutes you'd get an overview of domestic vs. international adoption, and maybe, if you had half a brain, you'd think, "Ah, so the processes are so vastly different that one might be more suitable for one person than another."
And you'd be able to report adoption expenses accurately.
That is, unless you are incredibly lazy. Or you have some kind of nasty personal agenda that precludes you from respecting others' choices and from having even a teensy bit of compassion for the millions of children worldwide who need homes.
Because let's face it, it's far more entertaining to write crap like, "if people really wanted to adopt children because of a desire to become parents, they'd just adopt babies, not fashion statements."
Seate had two opportunities in these columns to tell us how many children he's adopted, but was silent on that point. In my experience, it's always the case that the only people who judge you for your adoption choices never have adopted themselves.
I'd rant some more, but my little fashion statement is crying and needs his mommy and a bottle. Sheesh, if I wanted a trendy accessory, why didn't I just get a Hermes scarf? A Hermes scarf would never throw a temper tantrum at IKEA, like Owen did this afternoon.
2 comments:
I read this bit of trash and then read part of his blog saying something to the effect of people wanting Asian babies because they will sit quietly doing math and play the cello well. And I'm sure that people adopt African American babies to share their love of fried chicken, watermelon and Kool-Aid. Or for that matter, adopt Latino kids because they need some yardwork done.
Talk about perpetuating stereotypes and being racist! What a jackass.
When I was little, oh, about 25 years ago, we had a few white families in our church who adopted Asian children. In college, I had a friend who was adopted as an infant from Korea into a loving Irish Catholic family of 5. And my brother-in-law's sisters, all in their 40s and from three different Asian countries, were adopted by white American parents. Adopting Asians is a current fashion statement? Hell no, it's been in style for years with those who have big hearts and the desire for a family with children. What an ignorant, blind fool this man is.
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