Happy Holidays!

Happy holidays!

Owen's first Christmas with us was great. Yes, he was spoiled rotten with gifts and stuffed with candy and cookies. He learned the words Santa, snowman, and candy cane, although he doesn't really get what this is all about. He did catch on to opening presents pretty quickly.

We took him to the Mormon Temple's light display a couple days after Christmas, and he was in awe. "Lights! lights! lights!" And he has become skilled in turning on our outdoor music-n-light extravaganza that his dad rigged (and turning up the volume).

One of his favorite gifts is a mini John Deere "hayride" tractor with five seats for the farmer, a pig, a sheep, a horse, and a cow. It makes animal noises and plays music. He loves to push it on the floor, but he always has the pig in the driver's seat. Not sure what that's all about -- maybe he knows how smart pigs are.

He's spent a lot of time with family over the holidays, including time with his big brother and time at the Smith Family holiday party. He's doing great with big crowds and getting to know his extended family.

But he also got knocked low with a cold and fever, starting on Christmas Day. He's still got a runny nose, and he hasn't been sleeping well (3-hour screaming fit last night, anyone?). We're hanging in there on little sleep ourselves, and now I've come down with what he has.

But it has been a nice holiday season. And tonight we'll be ringing in the year with the little guy.

Cousins, (Non) Identical Cousins

You can lose your mind
When cousins are two of a kind

My mother makes a stand

Once your life is touched by adoption, you notice a lot of things that might have gone right past you previously, especially the way language is used. You'll never look at an "Adopt-a-Highway" sign the same way again.

So I'm going to proudly relate the story my mother told me.

She and a friend and my dad went to a church craft fair over the weekend. They stopped at one booth where a woman was selling cute little finger puppets. She decided to get a couple for Owen and Renee .

The puppets were in buckets with labels like "Animals" and "Cartoon Characters."

Then she noticed a bucket labeled "Orphanage."

Okay...what's that all about? She asked the vendor why the bucket was labeled this way, and the woman said, "Oh, that's where I put the leftovers and the ones I didn't know what else to do with."

So my mom put down the puppets she was going to buy, spun on her heel, and walked out.

But it didn't end there. She thought about it, and then she decided she couldn't let it go. She handed my dad her bags and went to give the vendor a piece of her mind. I'm sure in the nicest way possible, as my mom is not the type to get in your grill.

She went back and told the puppet mistress that she was offended by the use of "orphanage." She told her, "I have a grandson who came from an orphanage, and he is NOT a 'leftover.' He's a blessing."

The puppet maker was pretty horrified, my mom says, at never thinking about it that way. She certainly didn't mean to be offensive, and she took my mom's complaint seriously.

And that's the way I think it is with most of the "civilian" population. They do stuff like this completely out of ignorance, out of just not thinking. I just never thought of it that way before. And I think adoptive families tend to fall into two camps: when you see it, you either let it slide (maybe muttering under your breath), or you become an adoption educator, schooling the uninformed (and maybe not in the nicest way possible every time). Why take the harder path? Because this is the world Owen and his fellow adoptees have to grow up in. We can't spare them every callous or unthinking use of words like "adopt" and "orphanage," but we can occaisonally win one.

So, way to go Mom. That was freakin' awesome.

It's Good To Be a Gangsta

Ray took Owen for his first barber shop haircut on Monday. Ray's barber is Vietnamese, and had promised a free haircut for Owen.

Unfortunately, Owen is not yet as appreciative of a bargain as his mom is. He was okay with having his hair brushed, but when the scissors came out, he started crying and struggling. The barber was only able to get his bangs done.

I think he looks like Mr. Spock.

Anyways, during the visit, he got to hear a lot of Vietnamese, and at one point he looked at the action movie on the TV set in the barber shop and said, clear as a bell, a word in Vietnamese.

The barbers translated for Ray. They couldn't get over the fact that he knew the Vietnamese word for "gun."

Owen's Americanization: Part 2 -- English Lessons

Yesterday, I took Owen to a birthday party, a joint celebration for two brothers, 2 and 6, born in Vietnam. Since 2-year-olds don't really have that big of a social circle, the guests were mostly friends of the 6-year-old. The parents had rented out an area museum, and there was plenty to do and see. Owen had a great time.

He also got an English lesson.

When it was pizza time I grabbed a seat at a table of 6-year-old boys and a few parents.

The boy next to me was making some kind of choking noise (imitating, as it turned out, a poisoned Chinese baby dying from tainted formula), and Owen started imitating him. The boy laughed, and then asked me what Owen's name was.

"Does he walk?" he continued.

"Yep -- he walks, runs, jumps, all that stuff," I said.

"Can he talk?"

"Yes," I explained, "But not much. He's only been in the U.S. for three months, so he's still learning English. He can say about 20 words."

The kid's dad piped in: "Hey, maybe you can teach him a new word today."

"Yes," I said. "That would be great. You can teach him a new word, and then he'll know 21 words!"

Without missing a beat, the kid said, "I've got a word to teach him: F*ck-duck."

Silence and a very careful (and difficult to maintain) non-reaction from me.

"What did you say?" the dad said.

"F*ck-duck."

I tried to be graceful. "Oh, he already knows how to say duck," I said. "That's one of his words. He just loves ducks."

"No," the kid corrected me, "F*CK-duck. F*ck f*ck f*ck f*ck f*ck f*ck f*ck f*ck f*ck f*ck f*ck f*ck f*ck !!!!"

Ahem.

Luckily, Owen wasn't really paying attention.

Owen's Americanization: Part 1 -- Halloween

Part 1: Halloween

Okay, first off, we never did get him back in the pug costume. I got a larger size at Target, but no dice. He threw a fit the one time I was able to wrestle it back on him, and from then on, whenever I picked it up, he'd run. So for Halloween, we put him in his Redskins jacket and called it a costume.

I know, lame.

It's not like he didn't have a lot of Halloween activities to attend and opportunities to see kids in costumes. But he just wasn't feeling it this year. Maybe next year.

In addition to the Smith-Tucker 10th Annual Punkin Hunt -- a terrific day in a setting that surpassed Cox Farms -- Owen attended the Town of Vienna Annual Halloween Parade and spent Halloween night in Vienna, trick or treating and answering the door.

Despite the cold, he loved the parade, especially the firetrucks and Bolivian and Chilean dance troupes. He was jumping up and down in my arms, bopping to the music. A few of the floats were Halloween-themed, and he would say, "Pumpkin! Pumpkin!" when they passed.

On Halloween night, he helped Dad string up some Halloween lights on the porch, which showed us that Christmas is going to be a blast. Also that I will need to put a chain-link fence around the Christmas tree.

He picked up on trick-or-treating pretty quickly. He almost got the phrase down, and he liked knocking on doors. One of us would take him to 2 or 3 houses on Ray's block, then come back to hang at the house some and answer the door. Every time we got back, Owen would take his candy out of his bag and put it in a line on the edge of a chair.

He ate way too much, but hey, it was his first Halloween. He was up at 11 p.m., running around the house, crazed on the sugar and chocolate, but hey, isn't that what Halloween is all about?

Bye-Bye Bling

There was a momentous event in our home last week.

Owen's little bracelet came off.

I was peeling him out of his getting-snugger-by-the-minute footie pj's when the bracelet popped right off and rolled across the floor.

Uh-oh, I gulped. We're not sure about the bracelet's origin, but he had it on in every photo and video we received of Owen, starting with the photos taken within days of his arrival at the Ham Tan orphanage. (You can see it in this photo that we received in March.) We believe his birthmother put it on him, and we hadn't intended to take it off until we had to cut it off.

And the only time he's bitten me in anger was when I once tried to close the hinge, and he thought I was trying to take it off.

So I quickly picked it up and slipped it back on his hand. But then he started fussing and trying to push it off. I took it off and left it on the floor within easy reach, in case he wanted to put it back on later. But he hasn't gone near it, he's shown no interest in it, he seems to have forgotten all about it.

I guess that means he's home.

Don't Fear the Reaper

Owen at the fabulous 10th Annual Pumpkin Hunt, hosted by my aunt, uncle, and cousin. He had a great time!

Song For Owen

There once was a boy

There once was a boy

Who liked to push his cart

Who liked to push his cart

Around and round

Around and round

Around and round

Around and round

This is a song Owen likes at night in various styles. He'll join in quitely as he settles down.

Say Hello to My Little Friend

Owen has been a pill lately. He has a cold, which is disrupting his sleep, so it has been challenging to keep up with his antics. He seems to be into everything, with an appetite for destruction.

Yesterday, the only way I could check my email without him banging on my laptop was to let him rip open packets of Sweet 'n Low. White powder rained down on us while I typed.

"My dining room table looks like a scene from 'Scarface,'" I wrote to a friend. "Thank goodness it's almost naptime."

What happened next is reprinted below, verbatim. Or at least how my friend imagined it.

Bonnie: "Owen, time for your nap."

Owen/Tony Montana: "You know what? F*ck you. How about that?"

Bonnie: "You are just out of sorts today, little man."

Owen/Tony: "Hey, you don't give the orders around here. The only thing in this world that gives orders... is balls."

Bonnie: "Enough. You are taking a nap, and you don't get your bottle."

Owen/Tony: "You wanna waste my time? Okay. I call my lawyer. He's the best lawyer in Miami. He's such a good lawyer, that by tomorrow morning, you gonna be working in Alaska. So dress warm."

Bonnie (Picking Owen up and putting him to bed): "Have a nice nap."

Owen/Tony: " You think you can take me? You need a f*cking army if you gonna take me!"

Road Trip to NC

Last weekend, Owen and I tagged along with my parents on a road trip to North Carolina to visit my sister. Owen did pretty well on the long car rides. He fussed a lot on the trip back, but on the way down, he was just great, watching all the big trucks on 95.

We didn't have any barbecue on this trip, but Owen did have his first visit to Sonic. He also had his first taste of smores, sitting around Aunt Gail's fire pit.

We went to two festivals, in Cameron and in Southern Pines, and we had lunch at the restaurant where Gail works, where he downed a coffee-mug-sized cup of Brunswick Stew. It was the "modern" kind -- no rabbit or squirrel in it. (I think he would have enjoyed it even more with squirrel. The other day, a squirrel was hanging on the tree in our yard at about the six-foot level. Owen saw him, ran to the backyard for a golf club, then ran back to me at the foot of the tree and said, "Up! Up!")

Owen picked up a few more words on the trip, and he got to finally meet Uncle Dennis and Uncle Tony. But the best part was having so much quality time with his grandparents.

On the drive back, he would not allow my mom to sleep. Every time he saw her head start to nod, he'd shriek, "Ga-GAAA!" As if to say, "Stay awake! I might do something cute!"

Birthday Boy, Picnic Pro

Last Sunday was Owen's second birthday. We kept things pretty low-key, with an afternoon at the park and a cookout with our immediate families. Owen rode the train and the carousel at the park and loved both.

I made cherry vanilla cupcakes instead of a cake, and like any kid, Owen enjoyed the frosting more than the cake part. He got a few nice presents, but we didn't overdo it.

We saved the overdoing it for this weekend, which was Nonstop Picnic Weekend. We had our adoption agency's picnic in Springfield in the morning, and a family reunion in Frederick in the afternoon. Today was Families with Children from Vietnam's annual picnic.

Owen held up well at all three events, but it was a lot of people to deal with. He played with some of the kids at the agency's picnic, and he met some new cousins at the family reunion. He's fascinated with older kids, watching them and imitating them for better or worse. At the reunion, he finally met his second cousin Todd, and they played with a cooler.

At today's picnic, he was more interested in splashing in the puddles along the park's path, requiring a full change of clothes and some scoops of Oxyclean when I did the wash tonight.

And he was the Tasmanian Devil at bedtime, twisting and turning and jumping around until he finally conked out. Being around large groups of people and a lot of noise is hard for him. He's very social and he does really well with being charming and friendly, but he easily gets overstimulated and it takes a while to settle down. Last night on the way home from Frederick, he babbled at the top of his lungs for 20 miles.

So how are we winding our way out of this extremely hectic weekend? By heading to the pediatrician's in the morning for another round of shots.

Owen Goes to the Dogs

We're trying Halloween costumes with Owen, but unfortunately, this one's too small. Back to Target it goes!

Temp SAHM

Today is Day 3 of going solo with Owen. Ray went back to work on Monday, so I'm here with the boy all day, no break, no tag-teaming it.

It's a little exhausting, but it's going well. We're getting along just great. He's down to about one good chomp on me a day -- major progress on the biting front. We're exploring local playgrounds, getting ready for his birthday on Sunday, and trying to settle more into a routine.

But now I have to make more of an effort to socialize and set up play dates. All day with a 2-year-old is going to be tough. We started Aquatots last week, so that's a start. Owen did great. He cooperated (mostly) with putting the barbell flotation device under his arms, and got a little squirmy during the "back work" section, but mostly he was grinning and smiling through the whole thing. And talking up a storm.

"My, Owen's an active little boy," the teacher said. Okay, he was a little more hyper than most of the other kids, but he was so excited to be in the pool again, he couldn't help himself.

Aquatots marked our first time out in the civilian population. I've been keeping my play dates and socializing to other adoptive families since we got back. There's so much to discuss about the transition and adjustment and transracial issues that I've kept us pretty insular. Of course, it's not like you can always spot the adoptive family, so who knows the composition of our class. One thing's for sure, I'm on the older side.

Likewise at the playgrounds. Monday and today, I struck up conversations with other moms who didn't look like they're 20 years younger than me, but they ended up being THE GRANDMOTHERS.

Also, yikes, I don't know the words to "The Wheels on the Bus." I felt like such a dummy at Aquatots while everyone else was singing and doing the motions with their kids.

I'll figure this out, and probably really get the hang of it by the time I go back to work in January.

As a matter of fact, Owen does go with my shoes and purse

Aaargh, aaargh, aargh.

Thank you, Adoptive Families magazine, for tipping me off to this column, "Adopting Asian Kids Becoming Latest Fad," in the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review earlier this summer. Thank you for raising my blood pressure to dangerous levels. And thank you for calling the columnist, Mike Seate, a major tool in this month's "Thumbs-Down" feature.

Seate rebukes adoptive parents who provide forever homes for children from Asia instead of adopting domestically -- and even questions whether we want to be parents or make a fashion statement.

"Since when did Asian children become 'must have' fashion accessories for upper middle-class Americans?," he writes. "Along with Calloway golf clubs and season tickets to football games, paying $30,000 to $40,000 to adopt an exotic baby is suddenly viewed as the most chic purchase this side of a pair of Manolo Blahnik pumps."

Where to start? To call my child "a chic purchase" makes me foam at the mouth.

Also, dude, WTF? When I finally held Owen in my arms for the first time, do you think I was thinking of my friends R and MED, the Queens of Accessorizing, and saying, "Top this, bitches!"

The Tribune-Review was apparently deluged with angry letters from adoptive parents, but in a follow-up blog entry, Seate was unrepentant. "There is no, and let me repeat, no reason that any American family should be looking outside our own borders for kids to adopt," he wrote.

As if only children living in this country are deserving of families.

As if Owen shouldn't be here with me.

I've heard Seate's criticism before -- I've been asked "why are you going to Vietnam when there are children to adopt here?" It's a mildly annoying question -- with its underlying "buy American" assumption -- when it comes from a stranger or acquaintance, but it's infuriating when it comes from a newspaper columnist. You don't even need Google; just type in adoption.com, and in under 10 minutes you'd get an overview of domestic vs. international adoption, and maybe, if you had half a brain, you'd think, "Ah, so the processes are so vastly different that one might be more suitable for one person than another."

And you'd be able to report adoption expenses accurately.

That is, unless you are incredibly lazy. Or you have some kind of nasty personal agenda that precludes you from respecting others' choices and from having even a teensy bit of compassion for the millions of children worldwide who need homes.

Because let's face it, it's far more entertaining to write crap like, "if people really wanted to adopt children because of a desire to become parents, they'd just adopt babies, not fashion statements."

Seate had two opportunities in these columns to tell us how many children he's adopted, but was silent on that point. In my experience, it's always the case that the only people who judge you for your adoption choices never have adopted themselves.

I'd rant some more, but my little fashion statement is crying and needs his mommy and a bottle. Sheesh, if I wanted a trendy accessory, why didn't I just get a Hermes scarf? A Hermes scarf would never throw a temper tantrum at IKEA, like Owen did this afternoon.

English Lessons

Owen can say about seven English words now: bottle, hot, bye, Mom, Dad, Pop, and dog. He uses dog frequently, due to the constantly barking dog in the yard behind ours, and the pit bull around the corner, who charges the fence when we walk by. When either one of them barks, he says, "Dog?", and then goes "Woooof! Woooof!" Or, if he sees anyone walking a dog in the neighborhood, he gets excited and starts chanting, "Dog! Dog!"

So, the other day, we were having lunch, and Ray and I both asked Owen if he wanted more hot dog. More hot dog, Owen? Want more hot dog?

"Dog? Dog?" he said, looking at us quizzically.

Okay, I don't think he was imagining that we were actually feeding him dog for lunch, but I think he thought we wanted him to look at the dog, and where the heck was it in the kitchen?

From now on, we're calling his lunch item a wiener. Until he meets a wiener dog....

Anniversary and deadline

The date isn't exactly right, but two years ago, on the Friday of Labor Day Weekend, I made my first call to my adoption agency. Although I didn't know it at the time, that call started my journey to Owen.

I have off on Fridays in the summer, so in 2006 I was using my Fridays to do adoption research. I had contacted a bunch of agencies and received info packets or gone to open houses, when a Google search on "Vietnam adoption" turned up my future agency. I read about their Vietnam program -- Vietnam was on my list of potential countries, along with Guatemala and Taiwan -- and the agency looked good. So I gave them a call and had a great chat with the woman who would become my adoption social worker.

Two years ago, when I asked how long the wait was, she said they had waiting children at the orphanage. (This is an adoption term for children cleared for adoption when there aren't paperwork-ready parents to match them with; in general, the reserve is the case -- "waiting families" have paperwork ready and are hoping for children to enter orphanages and be cleared for adoption.) After hearing nothing but lengthy waits from every agency I'd called, to think that they had kids waiting for their new families was very encouraging.

Of course, we all know how it turned out. Nothing in international adoption is predictable, and I ended up waiting...and waiting...and waiting. But darn, was it worth it, because I got the kid I was supposed to get.

When I called my future agency, Owen's birth mother was in the final weeks of her pregnancy. It sometimes blows my mind to think of how all the planets aligned.

So two years after making that phone call, here I am, watching Owen and Ray nap on the couch and thinking I'm just about the luckiest person in the world. And that's after this morning, when Owen jammed a fork in the side of a Barq's root beer can and made a "fountain" in the kitchen.

On some not so happy news, my anniversary runs up against September 1, a sad day for many folks, as it's the day that US-Vietnam adoptions are suspended till further notice. I'm still on the waiting families email list from my agency -- they're a little slow to clean up their lists -- and from a message I received a few weeks ago, it looked like they didn't expect to make any more referrals before Sept. 1. (The US-VN agreement said that as long as you had a referral of a child by Sept. 1, you could finish your adoption, but if you didn't have a referral, your paperwork would be returned to you, good night and good luck.) My agency said waiting families could either wait out a new Vietnam-US agreement (no idea how long that will be -- the last time was a couple years), or consider switching to their Russian program.

Changing countries isn't that simple. You have to do new paperwork, pay new fees, and take your place in a new line. It's of course an option, but I really feel for the families that didn't make the deadline -- more delays, more expense, having to get your head around a different way of building your family than you'd planned.

I don't doubt that there are problems with Vietnam adoption (documented here), but not all agencies and orphanages are involved in corrupt practices, and it's so sad that the bad apples are spoiling it for those that conduct their adoptions ethically. And it's sad that months after the US Embassy report, the US government and Vietnam couldn't come to an agreement to let some adoption agencies continue to operate. We saw so many beautiful children at the orphanage and they all deserve permanent homes. And we've met some of our agency's waiting families who were far back on the line compared to us.

So I'm taking some time today to remember that phone call two years ago and be thankful that I made it when I did, and that I'm where I am today: lucky, lucky, lucky beyond words.

Owen's Wild Weekend

Owen had a huge weekend, and I think he's still recovering. He kicked off the weekend on Friday with lunch with Aunt Roberta. They did a little window shopping in Bethesda while she held him.

Then after a nap it was off to dinner with Aunt Mary Ellen at a Vietnamese restaurant in Arlington, where Owen surprised us all by picking up chopsticks and eating his pork and vermicelli.


Then Saturday was the big day at my parents' house, meeting a lot of his extended family and some family friends.

He went full-throttle from noon to 9 p.m. -- no nap, no even sitting down for a few moments. He got on the trampoline, sat on a bike while people took turns pushing him around, got in the sandbox, got a haircut from Aunt Gail while the camera flashbulbs popped, and chowed down on all the food his relatives kept stuffing in his mouth -- basically the contents of an entire fruit basket throughout the day and a whole chicken, topping it off with a bowl of ice cream. He even got on Renee's mini John Deere Gator and took off by putting his foot on the pedal without knowing what was going to happen. Renee rode him around after that, and he loved it.

So his introduction to the Smith Family was a roaring success. He was utterly charming and social on Saturday. There were about 30 people at my parents' house, and he did great with so many new faces. He even let a few people hold him. He's doing great in crowds, although he did bite Mommy once -- biting is still an issue.

He got some Ravens gear from Aunt Melinda and an Air Force shirt from Aunt Gail, so he's very decked out now.

On Sunday, it was back to my parents' house for a more low-key day with Aunt Gail before she headed back to NC. He played in his new sandbox (although we filled it with water), ate a lot of rock fish for lunch, picked apples and pears with his grandparents, and added a new skill -- throwing a ball for a dog to retrieve at friends of my parents' house.

He's really doing great with new people, although he's quick to turn on the waterworks and show us all of his teeth (screaming) when he doesn't get his way. It's hard to tell if this is typical 2-year-old behavior or if it's part of the transition -- he's had so little control over his environment in the last month, so he gets frustrated easily. And he still carries around comfort items -- usually a plastic fork and spoon.

But it's all going well. We're having a blast. He's mostly a very happy kid who wakes up with big smiles for his parents, and then goes full-throttle for the rest of the day.

Health Update -- Whew!

Good news today from the pediatrician. Owen's blood tests are back, and the tests that were done on him in Vietnam (Hep, HIV, etc.) were confirmed. All negative. And, it looks like he was vaccinated for polio and Hep B over there, and exposed to chicken pox. He's got some shots in his future -- including tetanus next week, which he is not going to be happy about -- but the doc says that otherwise he looks great. For now, a clean bill of health.

It's such a relief. I feel like I can relax a bit now.

In other news, he's had quite the social calendar this week. He celebrated Pop-Pop's birthday with lunch at Clyde's on Wednesday, dined atop Federal Hill yesterday, and had lunch with Aunt Roberta today. He's got a few more lunch and dinner dates on his calendar in the next few days.

But tomorrow is the big one -- his debut with the Smith Family. Aunt Gail will be visiting this weekend, so much of the Smith clan will be descending on my parents' house to meet the newest member. I know he's had some culture shock since he came to the U.S., but this will take the cake.

Just kidding....

I succeeded in signing him and me up for Aquatots starting in September. Geez, what a process. I waited three weeks for the online registration to open, but with my dad's birthday, forgot to log on until a little after 5 on Wednesday. So, I saw there were only 2 slots left for the time and day I wanted, added the class to my cart, then had to create an account with MontCo Parks & Rec. Fine. Except that the account comes with a PIN you need to complete any registration...and "you should receive it in 48 hours."

As someone who works on the Web, I will explain this in technical terms: Poor user experience! And it was after 5, so I couldn't call to try to expedite anything (aka complain). Instead we headed up to the local swim center to register in person, which the web site said was an option. I wanted one of those two remaining slots, dammit.

But ha ha, the swim center is closed all this week for maintenance! No walk-in registration for us!
Say it with me: Poor user experience!!

Luckily, I got the PIN the next day, and they still had a slot in the class for Owen. So, the second week in September, he and I will head off to the local swim center for some swimming instruction.

But shouldn't signing up have been easier? Maybe I should have sent them the link to the video of Owen and me in the pool in Hanoi. They'd see this kid is made for the water. And all the shots of my rack might have helped, too. ;)

More on the Name and the Likes

Dad too thinks Owen is doing great. He certainly loves his Mom and jumps in her arms all of the time. I get my fair share as well. We have a very happy family.

As Bonnie mentioned (also here), we had a short list of American names and wanted to meet him before picking one. It wasn't like we walked into the orphanage and decided. His personality had to come out a bit and he had to become more attached to us. So in the days after the Giving and Receiving as he become more relaxed then he seemed like an Owen.

There is also a tradition in my family, my Dad says it is good Irish luck, to have initials that are a word. So my brothers and sisters are: PAD, LAD, DED, GMD, ADD and TAD. So Owen Loc Daly is right at home.

Owen likes remote controls of any sort. Like most households we have about a dozen and just got some more with the addition of FIOS for phone, tv and internet. So the remotes that we leave readily available are for equipment we don't use or have had their batteries removed. We're hoping that his favorite will be one from this group and not the Tivo.

He also likes our laptops. We've taught him to be more careful around these costly machines but he still likes to hit keys. So his first computer program, "Giggles Baby - ABC's and 123's", is a minor hit. He can see something happen on the screen because he hits a key. But expecting a "baby" to recognize that pressing the "G" key produces the letter "G" on the screen is a big stretch. A better program would be the "Baby Hit Any Key".

American fruit is also a big like for him. Owen will try almost any kind of food which is great. Though our notes from the orphanage said that he didn't like fruit, our experience is much different. In Vietnam he loved all of the dragon fruit, Vietnamese cherries and other local fruits we gave him. Coming home from the grocery story, he scarfed down blueberries, though he is less fond of them now. I think his favorite are seedless, white grapes. He smiles just pulling one out of the bunch. Fresh peaches have been all over his face. And sometimes watermelon. So glad he got to the States in August while all these fruits are in season.

We knew with ice cream that he likes sweets. So yesterday I snuck him two miniature oatmeal raisin cookies from the top of the fridge. Later in the day we are in another room of the house and he wanted to go out - the usual of tapping me on the chest and pointing. So I walk out of the room and put him down. Off he runs into the kitchen. He goes right to the fridge and points up. Mom wonders what he is pointing at. "Owen, do you want this kitchen magnet?" Nope. The secret was out and the smart little boy got a couple more cookies.

He'll probably wake up here in a few minutes, it is about 8:00 am, and want to go outside. So I better go get my shoes on.

Ow! Plus: The Trader Joe's Celebrity

Owen had his first pediatrician appointment today. He did really well. Okay, he cried a lot, but he was very cooperative during his exam, and considering he had three vials of blood drawn and three shots, he really weathered it like a champ. No need for the papoose during the needle portion -- we had a great nurse who drew blood with such skill that he never even flinched when the needle went in.

We'll get results next week. They're going to re-run all his known Vietnamese tests as well as check to see if he was ever immunized for anything. Then we'll know what we're dealing with and go from there. But the doctor, herself an adoptive mom who now specializes in adoption medicine, said he looked great. We're just keeping our fingers crossed on the bloodwork.

Then we went to Trader Joe's to stock up on provisions, and it was like we were back in Vietnam, drawing attention with our handsome little guy. We haven't gotten this kind of reaction at my local Giant, but we had a couple people come up to us and ooh and ahh over Owen and politely acknowledge our status as adoptive parents.

But it was kind of funny. Owen and Dad had selected a snack, some white cheddar "Buried Treasure" (cheese-flavored corn puffs), and Owen was holding the bag and trying to get into it when one of the admirers pulled her cart next to us.

She cooed over how adorable Owen is, but asked him archly, "What's that you've got there? That's not really a very healthy snack for you, you know."

WTF? We just smiled and nodded. Of course, I never think of anything to say at the moment, but I wish I'd said something like, "'Oh yeah, lady? Well, a couple weeks ago, he was eating food off a Vietnamese orphanage FLOOR, so let him have his damn cheesy puffs. Oh, and MYOB."

Trader Joe's Buried Treasure have no trans fats, only 1 g of sugar per serving, and 3 g of protein. And Owen scarfed them down on the ride home.

More on the Name

I wanted to add some more about how we settled on "Owen" for Loc's American name. Actually, how I threw my support behind it after Ray and I narrowed down our choices to three or four names.

My sister and my nephew picked up on it right away, when I told them Loc would be called "Owen." They both said, "Oh, like Owen Meany," referencing John Irving's A Prayer for Owen Meany. They might not know it, but I share their fondness for this amazing book.

Indeed, there was a time when John Irving was my absolute favorite author. I've read Garp cover to cover maybe 5 or 6 times. I haven't liked much of his more recent work, and I've actually skipped the last few novels. I think Owen Meany was his last great novel.

I never set out to name my son after the ruined-voice, dwarfish Owen Meany. When Ray and I were paring down choices, we both liked Owen, but we had a few others we liked just as much.

But I ultimately gravitated to the name Owen because of the book, which I read many years ago, because it is about fate and faith -- two things that figure heavily in every adoption journey, adoptive parents will tell you. You have to have a lot of faith that you'll get through the process and find your child, because there's so much of it out of your control. As for fate -- everyone will say it's wild how it happens. Even though you go in order based on when your paperwork is done and when a child is available, you get the child you were supposed to get, in a cosmic sense, and once you meet him or her, you can't imagine any other child more perfect for you. It's fate, pure and simple, that brings you together.

And then there's the book's Vietnam angle. Owen is convinced his fate is to go to Vietnam. Okay, specifically, that he will die there, but let's not go into that. Let's just acknowledge that Vietnam looms large in the second half of the book.

Owen Meany uses my favorite narrative device -- at the end, all the loose threads come together, including something that seemed so unimportant -- "the Shot." You find out why the book included so many references to Johnny and Owen practicing "the Shot." And the book ends with Owen using "the Shot" to save a group of Vietnamese orphans.

So there you have it -- Vietnamese orphans, a feeling that one is destined to go to Vietnam, and poignant meditations on faith and fate. I didn't name Owen after Owen Meany, absolutely not, but I remembered the book after we put "Owen" on the short list, and it all just seemed to fit.

Toddler Adoption Rocks

We've been home for a week and two days. In some ways, it feels like we just got back; in other ways, it feels like we left Vietnam a month ago. Our days are so chock-full.

Owen is doing great. He's a different kid every day, getting more and more comfortable with his surroundings and with us.

In the past week, he's:

• Had his first Maryland blue crabs -- but perhaps not his first crabs. He was sucking meat out of cracked claws like he'd been doing it all his life.
• Learned to blow kisses. Grandma was a goner on that one.
• Visited Norm's Beer & Wine, where his parents found Tiger Beer, which they enjoyed so much in Vietnam, and he enjoyed his first Old Dominion Brewery product (don't worry -- root beer).
• Been to Target -- three times.
• Started sleeping more through the night and having fewer night terrors.
• Learned to love bath time.
• Started playing jokes on Mom, like jumping out from behind the car, or offering a bit of food and then pulling his hand away at the last second.

He's met a lot of people this week, although we've been trying to keep things low-key. A Smith Family get-together is in the planning stages for the weekend of the 23rd, so we're trying to prepare him for that.

I'm learning to live with food on my clothing at all times, constant backache from picking him up and putting him down 367 times a day, and very little sleep, but I wouldn't have it any other way. There are times when I'm positively giddy with happiness.

I can't believe I was ever concerned about adopting a toddler instead of an infant -- you get to so much good stuff right away. I love watching him figure something out, even if it's how to get into something he shouldn't be getting into or how to work the Tivo remote. I love hearing him pick up new words -- he got "moon" right away last night. I love how he threads his arm through mine when I pick him up. He laughs a lot, and it's the best sound ever.

He's come such a long ways from the frightened little boy he was just a few weeks ago. He hardly seems like the same kid.

Ha Long Bay Slide Show

P1010916
Originally uploaded by razweekly

We visited a beautiful area of Vietnam called Ha Long Bay - sometimes called the Eighth Wonder of the World, Lots of photos were taken, enough for a slideshow. Enjoy all 50 plus.

The photos are from the two days we visited. One the second day it rained very hard for a couple of hours which created some very dramatic shots. Besides the water scenes you'll also see the caves. It was a real trek up there carrying Owen and watching the slippery steps. Bonnie blogged about this earlier.

Got the Pronunciation!

BIG thank-you to Titi! She helped me learn to finally pronounce "Loc" correctly today. Now, I can say it, and Owen Loc gets a huge smile on his face and laughs at me. It's so cool. Before, he wouldn't recognize my botched pronunciation at all.

Owen had his first playdate today, with Danny Phi and Brian, and moms Titi and Cilla. Then we all went to lunch at Udupi Palace, where Owen chowed down on Indian food. He had a great time on the playground equipment, but it was a big day with a lot of new faces. He slept most of the afternoon, and then watched the Olympics opening ceremonies with us. He started singing during the Chinese national anthem. He didn't actually sing the anthem itself-- that would have been wild -- but just his own song. Who knows, maybe it was his national anthem.

While I want to keep getting Owen used to his own name, now I want to call him Loc as much as I can so I retain the pronunciation, and to see that little smile. I hope I'm not confusing him! I've tried using "Owen Loc" all afternoon.

It's Sunny in Mommyland

Last night went MUCH better, and today has been an absolute delight. We did a couple things to help with Owen's transition.

We kept the lights on in his room all night. He slept in there part of the night, part of the night with one of us holding him, but at least he slept, with no screaming hysterics. He was still up from 2 to 4 having dinner, but it was a vast improvement over the past two nights. He didn't get up till 8:15 this morning.

We kept things low-key today. We left the house a couple times, but didn't have any visitors or otherwise intense situations. Okay, we did take him to Toys 'R Us, which he LOVED. Grandma and Pop-Pop, head's up. We were desperate; he's obsessed with phones and has figured out how to get various sounds by pushing buttons on my cell (he called Aunt Gail today) and the land-line. And once he gets one in his hand, you can't get it away from him, so we went out and got him a Fischer-Price toy one that does the alphabet and counting and songs.

But all in all, today was a great day. He was a happy, affectionate kid today, with a good appetite. He took a long bath and loved playing with his bath toys. He was charming and well-behaved and just wonderful all day, and went to be at his pre-trip bedtime of 7:30.

I'm trying to decide about continuing this blog, which I started primarily to document the adoption process and trip. I don't want it to degenerate into "Owen did the cutest thing today...." zzzzzz. ALL kids are cute, and it seems self-indulgent if that's what it starts being.

But I do want to keep writing about the transition, and I have some things I want to write about Vietnam and what an amazing experience it was to be there. So, we'll see. Maybe the blog will evolve into something else when I've wrapped up those two threads.

Or maybe I'll just be a typical smitten and besotted mom and fill up the blogosphere with posts on "Owen did the cutest thing today"....

Rocky Start

We're still sleepwalking. The jet lag is pretty awful. We've had only a couple hours of sleep the past two nights. Owen Loc is really struggling with his new environment, so many new faces, and his own jet lag. The first night home was tough, but last night he pulled an all-nighter of terrified screaming with some sleep but only on our laps, plus a 3 a.m. binge-eating session.

I know we're asking a lot of the little guy, and we've probably overdone it with introducing him to his new family, but we've also come to hypothesize that he's terrified of the dark. Our hotel room in Phan Thiet was all teak and poorly lit, and he was frightened every time we set foot in there. He did much better in Saigon and Hanoi. Here at home, it's a lot darker than the hotel rooms we were staying in with all the city ambient light. Last night, he was screaming and signaling to me to take him outside, and when I opened the blinds to show him it was nighttime and not a good idea, he visibly flinched at the dark.

So tonight we tried putting him to bed with all the lights on in his room, instead of just a nightlight, and he didn't go into convulsions when his head hit the pillow. Of course, that was only 15 minutes ago. Last night, we got a whole 20 minutes out of him sleeping in his room before we had to give up and take turns holding him while he slept.

So, we're dead tired but having fun. Thanks to the required classes we had to take before adopting and all the reading we've done, and all the other adoptive families we've met who shared their own homecoming tales with us, we were prepared for rough days. In many ways, it's better than we expected, because when he's rested and well-fed (and his appetite is definitely improving), he's a complete joy. He's a very happy, very active little boy who will run into my arms and give me a kiss. He loves playing in the water, and taking toys or blocks out of a container and putting them back in. Tonight he helped me put all the bottles that had accumulated into the recycle bin. He's even getting used to the car seat, and he spent a good portion of today without shoes on -- a major accomplishment, since shoes are one of his comfort items.

Ray uploaded all of his photos today -- all 1500 of them. We promise we'll do some editing before sharing the link. There are some great ones there that really capture what Vietnam is like.

While I happy to be drinking drinks with ice again, and I had a cheeseburger on the grill last night that tasted like heaven, I am missing the food in Vietnam. It's just amazing.

I'm hoping for an easier night and a happier day tomorrow. We're being patient and trying to help Owen through this rough time. We get enough smiles from him to get us through this patch.

Home at Last, and the Name

We made it home, as the pictures below show. Somewhere over Chicago I nearly freaked out thinking I could not stand one more minute on an airplane. And this was with a sleeping, angelic child on my lap. The San Francisco to Dulles leg was way better. Loc ran around SFO so much that he crashed right after his take-off bottle and didn't wake up until we were taxi-ing to the gate at Dulles.

We were met at the airport by my parents and niece, Renee, and nephew, Scott. It was so great to see them and to be home.

The first few minutes of the ride home were rough. Poor Loc has never been in a car seat and has gotten quite used to sitting on Mommy's lap during the many long car rides in Vietnam. We strapped him in and had hysterics all down the Dulles expressway. He couldn't understand why he was being restrained and kept screaming to get out to sit on my lap. We finally distracted him enough that he calmed down.

He's been in a great mood all day. He's been exploring his new home, playing with his toys, playing in the backyard, and generally being charming with his delighted grandparents. Ray and I are barely sleepwalking through the day -- the jet lag coming back is MUCH worse than going over. Loc shows no signs of fading, although right now he's on his second nap. He just has too much to do and see and experience.

(Speaking of which, last night in the airport we had a pre-flight beer and ordered him a glass of water. It came with ice, which we believe he had never seen before. He kept putting his hands in the glass and fishing out cubes and crowing with fascination, to the point where his whole body was shaking, he was so cold. But he couldn't get over these cool things floating his his water.)

So...his name. While in Vietnam we settled on Owen Loc. Owen was one of our choices because it retains some of the sounds of his last name, Nguyen (pronounced n'win), and had he stayed in Vietnam, he would have been called Nguyen Loc, as the custom is to do last name first. After meeting him, we decided Owen fit him.

He knows his name now and responds to it. We started calling him Owen in Vietnam because try as we might, we simply cannot pronounce Loc in a way that he understands. You'd think it would be easy, but it's not. We'd call him Loc, and he'd never even turn his head. When Vietnamese people we met there asked us his name, and we'd say, "Loc," they'd look at us blankly, and we'd have to spell it. "Oh, Loc," they'd say. To our Western ears, we could never hear the subtle distinction in pronunciation. I can't figure out how to do the diacritical marks in Blogger, but the o has two -- the little hat on top and a dot underneath. This means, we've been told, your voice has to go up and down on the o, but in a lower register.

English is obviously not a tonal language like Vietnamese, because we tried really hard to learn how to get that o right, but we're hopeless. We're not going to give up, because we're retaining Loc as his middle name and we want to pronounce it correctly.

Luckily, he seems to like "Owen" just fine.

It's so good to be home finally. Words just can't express it, but I'll write more when I'm more awake.

We're Home

Home In Backyard
Originally uploaded by razweekly

Owen runs to Mom in HIS backyard. Grandma, PopPop and Renee look on.

(more to come)

Home In My Room

Home In Room
Originally uploaded by razweekly

Bonnie is sitting with Owen on his bed in his room. Renee - Owen's new best friend - introduces him to many new toys..

Owen is Greeted By His Family

Owen is Meet By His Family
Originally uploaded by razweekly

Owen, Bonnie and I had a wonderful reception at the airport from Grandma, PopPop, Scott and Renee. The later three are just above Owen's head in this picture.

Off the Plane

Of the Plane
Originally uploaded by razweekly

We were so glad to be off that awful United Airlines flight and to be home in the DC area again. Owen is in Mom's arms as we head through the main terminal to baggage claim to awaiting family.

But what time is it? What day? The jet lag and the 36 hours of traveling took its toll.

My Brother Did It

My Brother Did It
Originally uploaded by razweekly

Owen explains his T-Shirt which says "My Brother Did It" to Red.

Owen Meets His Big Brother

Red Give Owen a Gram
Originally uploaded by razweekly

Red made a great impression on Owen right from the start. What a great big brother!

Brothers need to share. So Red is giving Owen a bite of a Teddy Graham. You'll have to see the video to hear all of the giggles and see all the fun they were having.

Later in the airport, I'd put Owen down and tell him to "run to Red" and off he'd go. Red would have his arms outstretched and "catch" Owen lifting him up high and then to his chest.

Many other geat moments in SFO and more to come between brothers.

Ice Cream Boy

Everybody likes ice cream. What Bonnie didn't know when she was doing her post last night is that we got a second order of coconut ice cream while we waited for her blogging. Loc just chomped right through the first bowl before I could hardly get a bite. There is nothing to worry about his appetite.

We've been having trouble getting Loc to eat from the stroller, so he sits on a lap to eat most of the time. This means one or the other leaning across the table to offer more food. His appetite varies from day to day fairly widely, so it has been a challenge on that front. Also, he is very 'hands on', as you might expect. So it makes for a mess in our laps and on our shirts/tops, but he is eating well and only some time into the meal does he start to play. It is also hard to tell how much he is eating because if he gets too much in his mouth he like to share. We trying to get him off the formula bottle for nutrition.

On the next leg of the plane ride we'll have in our laps. More feeding from airline trays. But we brought alone 'Bag-O-Snacks' with goldfish like crackers, Teddy Grams and a few other treats. These have worked out great. More to pull out for this leg and I'll have to do my best to make sure he does not grab the bag and dump in in our seats.

We'll see how it does the next 14 hours. How much sleep? How much crying? How much game playing? Just thinking about this future is putting a smile on my face.

You'll see Loc soon. We'll let you know how this leg went. I'll get more pictures posted when we get home - no facility to do it here.

In Transit with Chucky

We've made it to Taipei.

Wow, a whole 3.5 hours into our trip.

Loc woke up on the wrong side of the crib this morning and has pretty much screamed nonstop until we were halfway across the South China Sea. Nothing is making him happy right now. We've got an almost-4-hour layover here, so I hope he perks up and is in a better mood for the next leg. Otherwise, we might dump him with Red in San Francisco and come on home by ourselves.

Just kidding!

Our airport taxi was 15 minutes late this morning, causing me conniptions, but the driver drove like a maniac and we got to the airport just after another family who left 15 minutes earlier. Our last views of Hanoi were blurs accompanied by horns.

So far, everything's on schedule, so we should be arriving in San Francisco at 4 p.m. on Sunday. Which is weird because it's 4 p.m. on Sunday right now. We lose 12 hours, poof, just like that.

Okay, my bags are unattended outside the Internet room because Ray is off with Loc dealing with a meltdown, so I have to run. See you all very soon.

Last night in Hanoi

I'm sitting in Highlands Coffee, eating Vietnamese coffee cheesecake while Ray feeds Loc coconut ice cream.

We've had an exhausting day. I think I finally got the hang of bargaining and got some incredible deals today. We did a couple trips out to the lake and shopping districts, then an afternoon at the pool. Poor Loc is totally off his schedule, but since we're starting a 23-hour trip tomorrow morning, maybe it's for the best.

We were going to try to go to a water puppet show today, but we got to the theatre and the next show was in 90 minutes, and it was just too hot to wait. So, we made our way back to the pool and hung out there.

One thing I haven't mentioned is how we feel like celebrities every time we're out. Not only do we get stared at, but people come up to us constantly and want to touch Loc or hold him. They even kiss him sometimes,and they always talk to him in Vietnamese and are delighted when he responds with a smile. They always ask if he's Vietnamese, and how old is, and where we're from. And then they usually express gratitude for our adopting a Vietnamese child, or they tell us how lucky Loc is and wish us much happiness and good fortune.

This especially happens in restaurants, where we spend a lot of our time. No eye-rolling of "Oh crap, they brought a child in here." Instead, they bend over backwards for us and sometimes even want to play with Loc or hold him while we eat. And the other customers all smile at us and wave. This is not like America. Tonight at this fabulous Vietnamese restaurant Loc was sleeping in his stroller, and I thought the waitstaff was going to wake him up, they kept wanting to touch him and pinch his cheeks.

So head's up, everyone. This is the kind of attention he has come to expect. Please do your best to continue his perception that he's a celebrity.

Ha ha.

Anyways, don't know if I'll write another blog entry in the morning before we leave, but I'll try to check in from the Taipei airport. And then we'll be HOME, and you'll all get to meet this amazing little boy.

Love to all, and see you soon!!

Halong till we get back to Hanoi?

Well.

THAT was an adventure.

We made it back to Hanoi yesterday afternoon, in the rain, crammed in a 14-person van with babies on our laps on the bumpiest roads yet. All we wanted when we got back here was room service and a hot shower.

Halong Bay is beautiful. (Ray will try to upload photos later today if we can borrow Dan's laptop; otherwise, we'll post them when we get home.) It really is something to see.

But the trip...I guess it was about what we expected, but we didn't know that "deluxe" included cockroaches.

The ship, or junk, was very quaint but definitely not up to American safety codes, and Loc has really come out of his shell, so I spent the whole trip chasing him around the deck and keeping him from getting too close to the railing.

We set sail on a really hot morning, and after an hour and a half, we disembarked along with dozens of other boats, at one of the rock formations, which has a cave. One of the dads stayed on the boat with sleeping baby Nina, but the rest of us trekked onshore and then started a vertical hike up the side of the rock with babies on our backs in hellacious heat.

The cave was really cool -- better than Luray -- but not well lit on the paths, and slippery, and oh, about 120 degrees inside. We'd be winding our way through these narrow slippery paths into the belly of the cave, making plans to spot each other if someone slipped and dropped a baby. But amazing rock formations.

When we descended back to the shoreline, it was "high tide," they told us, so we had to wade through knee-deep water on the little boardwalk back to the boat. And the junks were so crammed in to the dock area that you had to duck under bows. As we were wading and dealing with wriggling kids, one boat crashed right through the dock railing in front of us. Then we had a climb a ladder made out of pipe to get back on the boat.

It was hilarious. In its own screwed-up way.

Then we tooled around the bay some more with stops for kayaking (Ray did it) and swimming (no one did, given the amount of diesel dumped in the bay by all these junks, the boat traffic, and the garbage).

The food on board was okay but not great, the crew not that interested in giving us a tour, but the cabins were actually pretty roomy -- two twin beds and plenty of room to move around. And largish private bathrooms with showers.

Oh, except that I'm forgetting the cockroaches. Yes, in the bed, on the walls, generally enjoying their cruise on Halong Bay as well. One family's room was a little more infested than the others', which led to The Best Line of the Trip.

When Lu complained to one of the crew about the roaches in her room and how did they expect her to sleep in there with her baby, the crewman said, "Oh, don't worry Madame. As soon as the AC comes on and we cut the engines, they run right to the kitchen."

Nice.

So, that family passed the night wearing bandanas over their ears, socks tucked into pants, 3 or 4 layers, and a tent made out of a sheet. And all the lights on. We only saw a few roaches in our room and were so exhausted we didn't worry about it. I was more worried about Loc getting out of the room in the middle of the night, so despite double-bolting and chain locking the door, I slept with my hand around Houdini's ankle.

The next day, it rained all day, which gave the rock formations a mystical, ethereal quality, like we were in some enchanted Tolkien land. I'm joking, of course. It was pretty miserable on board, we could only look out windows, the crew was watching TV instead of giving us a tour, breakfast was inedible (although I didn't see any roaches in my "omelet"). All we wanted to do was get back to Hanoi at that point.

We got back to Halong Harbor, had to walk a few blocks in the rain with all of our luggage
to a restaurant for lunch -- this time, really crappy tourist food -- then crammed in the van with 8 other people for the three-hour ride back to Hanoi.

We were all glad we did this excursion -- roaches and all, because it makes for a good story and it really was something to see -- but the Somerset with its Soviet-era decorating style was looking pretty good.

Also, while Loc was generally well-behaved if a bit energetic for a boat, there was an incident with him. He bit me, twice. One just looks like a hickey on my shoulder, but the other one actually broke the skin. I don't know what to make of this -- he wasn't angry or upset. He was just rough-housing with me -- jumping up in my arms and bonking his head against me, which he loves to do, and then he just CHOMPED.

This has led to his new nickname, Chucky, among our group.

The second time he did it, in the van on the way back, I yelled, "No," and pushed him off of me, which led to a really amazing tantrum with huge tears and screams that thankfully had everyone in the van laughing at the theatrics. So we'll see if he got the message.

Today's our last day in Hanoi, then we leave early tomorrow for the airport. Finally!! I can't wait to get on that plane to come home. Today we're going to visit the Hanoi Hilton to see John McCain's cell, and we're going to the Old Quarter for some last-minute souvenir shopping.

I can't believe we're finally ready to leave Vietnam. It has truly been amazing. This blog doesn't cover half of the sights and things we've experienced. We've been on sensory overload since we touched down in Saigon two weeks ago.

Now I'm off to meet my boys for breakfast, then out into the traffic and noise of Hanoi.

Off to Halong Bay

Six adults, two infants, and a toddler on a couple-hour bus ride and then a boat overnight. Are we crazy?

We just couldn't face another day at the hotel and needed a change of scenery in one of the most amazing sites on the planet, according to UNESCO. Look up Halong Bay on Wikipedia, or see our photos later.

Love to all.

Those Amazing Race contestants make it look so easy

Aaaargh.

We got Loc's visa this morning, no problem, and then 5 of us parents and Loc and Baby Sophie rushed off to the EVA Airlines office to beg to get on a flight today or tomorrow.

No dice. We're stuck with our Sunday flight. They have nothing available out of Taiwan to the US except one seat to Los Angeles on Friday, and the 5 of us didn't want to fight over who got that. (Ha ha.) How do those people on "The Amazing Race" jet around the globe at a moment's notice? Is "reality tv" not really real? Shocking.

We really want to come home ASAP, not just because we're anxious to get our lives back to normal and to see everyone, but because it's too hot to do much here and the hotel is not exactly cheap.

Troy and Christine are leaving for Saigon this afternoon for the rest of the trip (she has family there), so the 6 remaining 'rents are discussing embarking on a tour of Halong Bay tomorrow, with an overnight on a boat. Everyone recommends seeing this place, and an overnight tour and cruise is cheaper than the hotel. It should be an adventure -- I'm just not sure if it's a trip to crazytown. Loc was up at 4 this morning and screamed his head off until 8. I think he has a tooth coming in and he's not happy about it. After I blog this, I'm heading to the grocery store for some Johnnie Walker to put on his gums.

KIDDING!!! I'll wait for Aunt Melinda to buy him his first shot.

Anyways, if we do Halong Bay I'll be out of touch for a couple days, but we should get some amazing photos of it. Unless we're kicked off the boat for screaming children.

This afternoon, I'm going shopping with the other moms for more silks. If I can't go home, I may as well shop, right? Loc and Ray are going to hang out at the pool.

Wish I had better news about the flights. Sunday feels like a long ways off. Thanks to everyone for your comments -- you're keeping us going right now.

Almost there

The Embassy interview went well. It wasn't really an interview, like they used to do, thanks to the new procedures. All I had to do was swear that everything in the visa application was true to the best of my knowledge. Hey, no problem!

We were there for a long time, however. They told us we could get the visas the same day, at 4 p.m., so we elected to hang out and wait for them. Over an hour in a government office waiting area with a toddler... ugh. He was moderately good, with one small meltdown. Unfortunately, the visas weren't ready at 4. They told us maybe 5 p.m., so Thao sent us back to the hotel and waited for us. 5 p.m., no visas. They are promising by 9 a.m. tomorrow.

What does that mean? That possibly means that by 9 a.m. we're done and free to leave Vietnam. Unfortunately, we might not be able to leave early. There was a typhoon in Taiwan on Monday, and it resulted in all flights being canceled out of Taipei. Our travel agent is warning that he might not be able to change our tickets because the Taiwanese airline we're on is so backlogged right now.

Most of us are all a little depressed about this. We're all so ready to come home. So, we're crossing our fingers and seeing what can be done to get us home early, but we really can't give the travel agent the go-ahead to find us flights until we have the kids' visas in hand tomorrow.

But as you saw from Ray's posts, today was a good day. Loc was just great today. Happy kid with only the normal toddler tantrums every now and then. Plus, MAJOR development. When Ray tried to give him his bottle this morning, he screamed and wriggled away and cried for "Meh! Meh!" (His version of Mommy -- a Vietnamese/English hybrid). He did it a few more times today, calling for "Meh" when he wanted something. Pretty cool, huh? And I was so worried about bonding.

Also, he understands a ton of Vietnamese and very little English, but he still surprises us. This evening he instigated a peek-a-boo game with the living room curtains. He'd hide behind then, and we'd wonder aloud where he was, and he would burst out of them and come running at us. It was simply amazing -- just from the tone of our voices, I guess, he figured out how to play the game. So, if we are stuck here till Sunday, at least we have something fun to do.

Deep Kid Pool

Deep Kid Pool
Originally uploaded by razweekly

This is the deeper of the two kid pools. You can just see the step where Loc can stand pretty well except for some bouancy from the pool diapers. There is a second pool in the background. Also notice the wind flapping the flags. A great breeze in the shade for the morning. We all enjoyed it.

You'll also see the adult pool. Loc went jumping into that for a while too. But he got tired of it because it was so hard for him to pull himself out.

Difficult balancing act to teach fear of the water and yet enjoyment as well. So he got a few mouthfuls and a dunk.

Loc Takes a Swim

Loc Takes a Swim
Originally uploaded by razweekly

Note: Big experiment since I can not watch video from here.

The two kid pools were Loc's playground for the morning. Watch him kick in this video! Bonnie just drags him around and around the edge. I'm hoping you can hear him laugh. He loves the water now after some big fears in Saigon.

His play involved throwing his plastic spoon or his shoes into the middle of the pool. Then he'd jump right off the ledge of the pool into the deep water where we'd catch him. Most of the time we got him before his head went under but a few times he surprised us and he got a mouthful. But he kept coming back for more and more.

Over all it was a very good morning. After waking up about 5 and taking a bottle, he awoke again about 7 in a great mood. Lots of laughs and giggles as we played hide and seek in the sheets, tickled him and just had fun. Then we walked around the apartment without shoes and monopolizing the remote control. He's ready for America!

Breakfast followed where we saw the other families and got caught up on their adventures. Then pool time for the three of us which was more fun than taking a bath.

It was also an important day for "giving up" some objects for a while. You'll see no hat on his head, his shoes are off and the always present tripod is put away. The stroller is hidden in the bathroom for the morning.

Bonnie and Loc are away at the U.S. Embassy getting Loc's visa approved. I know he'll do well at his first interview. His first time on U.S. soil!

I'll upload more photos to Flickr and move some over here. Thanks for all the comments.

Shopping Day

We're beat. We had a long day in Hanoi, where it's HOT. And we had a long morning with a very unhappy boy who woke up in yet another room and another city. He had just gotten to the point where he didn't scream in our room in Saigon, and we pulled another switcheroo on him. So, last night was loooong trying to get him to sleep, and then this morning was rough. He was generally unhappy and screamed for a couple hours and was back to needing all his comfort items with him.

But he rallied for our shopping trip with some of the other moms and Thao, who did our bargaining for us. And boy did we get bargains, like silk scarves for 3 bucks. Gorgeous stuff here.

Loc stayed in the Hip Hammock the whole shopping trip, from shop to shop, and was very chill and flirted with all the shopgirls. Maybe that's why we got bargains.

After a nice long nap for him and Dad, we headed out to walk around the lake. Way too hot, but it was interesting. Hanoi is so different from Saigon, so much like France in its architecture.

We had dinner at a Thai place, and now it's off to bed. Loc needs to make a good impression at his Embassy interview tomorrow. Wish us luck -- this is the last step in his paperwork.

In Hanoi

We made it to Hanoi today and are settled in the Somerset Grand. A far different set-up from the Saigon hotel. We have a two-bedroom, two-bath apartment with a kitchen and washer and dryer. Breakfast is included in the Somerset restaurant, but we're going to miss our Club Lounge with free Internet (it's 3 bucks for 30 minutes here, WTF?), free booze (seriously, WTF???), free snacks all day long, and those views of the Saigon River Loc found so compelling.

Loc was amazing on the flight today. He settled against me and went right to sleep as soon as we started to take off, and woke up when we landed.

In fact, today has been one long day of, what happened to the scared, withdrawn and fussy kid we adopted? This new boy is absolutely delightful, giggling all the time, playing games with us, generally being charming, eating up a storm, and even splashing in the pool today and laughing his head off.

We had a real adventure when we got here. We joined Thao, Christine, and Troy for lunch for Vietnamese food. We went to this place where they were cooking food and washing dishes basically on the street. We climbed a flight of narrow stairs to the dining room, where the food was already on the table. You just sat down and started eating. No refrigeration except for the beers. It was grilled beef and pork in a bowl of sauce, sliced-up spring rolls, a plate of noodles, pickled papaya, and a plate of lettuce and mint. You're supposed to mix everything together and dig in. We avoided the uncooked stuff and hoped for the best. So far, so good. It was delicious, but about as authentic as I want to get.

Hanoi is totally different from Saigon. Much less hectic and less crowded, and the buildings are all older and more French colonial looking. It's hotter and dusty here. Where we are has some new construction, but not like Saigon. It definitely has that post-colonial look.

Okay, the space key on this computer isn't working, so I'll say goodnight. We have a free day tomorrow while Thao does paperwork, so we're going shopping. Then another Big Day on Tuesday, when I have the US Embassy interview and hopefully get the boy's visa. As soon as I get that, we can come home, so stay tuned!!

Loc's Saigon Aunts

We had a wonderful lunch and outing today with Titi's friends. Trang, Nguyet, Nguyet's daughter Be Sua, and Oanh met us at the hotel and whisked us in a cab to Ngoc Suong Marina, the best seafood restaurant in Saigon. We had a feast of seafood delicacies. Loc was a little hesitant at first, but warmed up to his new Saigon aunts, who took turns walking him around the restaurant. Nguyet had great success feeding him congee after we had finished our lunch. Then he dove into the longan fruits for dessert. He enjoyed them so much that Trang had the leftovers boxed up for him for a treat for later. He was very well-behaved at the restaurant and was even smiling and laughing on the ride back to the hotel. With all the excitement, he's now sleeping off his big outing.

What a wonderful day. We cannot say enough about the hospitality shown to us by these ladies who only know us through Titi, mom to Brian back in the US and fellow client at our adoption agency. They went to high school with Titi here in Saigon, so she was kind enough to make the introduction. To see Saigon with people who live here and be treated to lunch and a nice afternoon by them was priceless. We would never have this kind of experience on our own as American tourists.

Titi, if you're reading this, please let your friends know that we will email them photos when we get home. The Internet connection here is very slow for emailing large files.

Pictured from top to bottom are: the group; Trang; Nguyet; Oanh; and Be Sua. New friends in Saigon!

Bath Time

Loc had his first bath in the tub today, with Dad. Sorry to disappoint you, but there are no photos of this event.

He didn't much like it, but at least he's a little fresher now. We're meeting Titi's friends Trang and Nguyet for lunch today, and we wanted Loc to be presentable.

Every day he's getting more and more comfortable with us. He had a rocky night, but I think it was because of the Vietnamese sausages he ate for dinner. His little burps could clear a room, they were practically fire-breathing. This morning he's doing well and practicing his fork skills and just generally being adorable.

So, we have a big adventure out today for lunch, and then maybe the market later on this evening.

Oops, here he comes, gotta run.

Grandma, I'm Coming to See You

Coming to See You
Originally uploaded by razweekly

Not Always Smiles

Not Always Smiles
Originally uploaded by razweekly

Lunch was over. Enough feeding myself with a fork. I want to go outside. I don't care if it is raining. I'm ready to go.

Luckily these are not frequent.

Fork

Fork
Originally uploaded by razweekly

I can use a fork and feed myself pasta. The Italian restuarant around the corner was a good lunchtime outing. Very humid, hot and rainy here today. Usual on and off rain.

Loc took the pasta right off the plate by himself. Not enough tomatoe sauce yet for a classic photo.

Smiling Loc

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Originally uploaded by razweekly

Enjoying a day at the windy beach. Loc shows us that he has teeth today with lots of laughs and giggles.

Boom!

Loc showed us a new trick at 5:30 this morning -- climbing out of his crib. We woke up to a crash and a wail and found him wedged between the sofa and the crib. Holy crap.

So, he's sleeping on a mattress on the floor from now on. I'm so glad we didn't invest in a crib at home and went straight to a bed, although I think we need a railing for it since he thrashes around a bit.

It's 9 a.m. in Saigon and we're off to a good start. He had TWO bowls of chicken congee this morning, with no chipmunkery going on. We're both completely relieved that his appetite is finally coming back and he's learning that the hotel breakfast buffet really is "all you can eat." He also loves these delicious Vietnamese cherries that will probably be impossible to find back home.

The fruit here is unreal. I thought I hated papaya. I had just never had a truly ripe one before. And don't get me started again on the dragonfruit -- I can't eat enough of it. Dragonfruit looks like a white kiwi when it's peeled, but in its natural state it's this large pink spiky thing, almost like a giant pink artichoke. We got one in a welcome basket from the hotel yesterday and were like, WTF do we do with this? And then Loc picked it up and peeled it! Who knew?! He even used his teeth on the tough parts to the peel. He can also peel a banana in a flash. He's very resourceful.

I guess it's the institutional care. We can't get him to drink out of a sippy cup, but he can hold a 16-oz bottle of Aquafina and drink from it like he's been doing it since birth.

Okay, more later -- now we're off to the pool to see if he likes that better the second time.

Back in Saigon

We've had a very long, eventful day. We left Phan Thiet early this morning after some last-minute paperwork that had to be straightened out for one of the other families.



I'm going to miss the Novotel and our ocean-front room. The place was gorgeous, the food was wonderful, and it was nice to have such expansive grounds to push Loc's stroller on (this evening was back 'n forth down the hotel hallway, and it got old fast). However, Phan Thiet had its downsides. Loc is scared to death of confined spaces -- every elevator ride is traumatic -- and he hated our dark, teak-filled room in Phan Thiet. He would start whimpering the minute we went in, so we ended up spending every moment outside of it until he fell asleep at night. Which meant long days in really hot, humid weather. I got tired of asking myself, Is that the fish sauce factory, or is it me?, because I would seriously be covered in sweat within minutes. No amount of showering helped. I felt perpetually rank the whole time I was there.



But what's a little discomfort? It was a beautiful setting, and I'm thankful we had the extra day there to get to know each other. It made today's long van ride to Saigon manageable. Loc's now comfortable enough with us that he sat in our laps, cuddled up, and slept most of the way back, or looked out the window.



We got back to the Renaissance Riverside around noon, and then we had a busy afternoon. We applied for his Vietnamese passport at the local passport office which was on par, comfortwise, with the Pikesville office where I got my fingerprints done.



Then it was off to Cho Ray Hospital for his medical exam. This one was a bit of a culture shock for me. Saigon is a city of 9 million, and this is a huge hospital -- the size of Hopkins, maybe -- and it was jam-packed. The trek through it to to the Visa Medical Exam building was crazy, with people on guerneys and crowds of relatives around them.



The medical exam was pretty uneventful. He got weighed and measured, and a doctor checked him with a stethoscope and then took off his diaper and gave his junk an okay.



The passport office and the clinic were pretty crowded today, yet we had very short waits to be seen. Thao is awesome at pushing paperwork through. We were told the passport would be ready July 31, but Thao assured us she'll be picking it up tomorrow.



I've been feeling nauseous this evening, and we had a little trouble getting Loc to sleep because he slept so much on the car ride, but otherwise we're all doing well. What a difference 24 hours has made. This evening we did happy hour snacks in the Club Lounge at the hotel, on the 18th floor, and Loc pointed out boats to me on the Saigon River below. He actually spent some time today without his baseball cap and his washcloth. He's starting to get much more verbal -- just wish I understood him. We asked Christine to interpret this evening, but she said it's just Vietnamese baby talk.



Tomorrow we settle up some fees and hang out waiting for the passport and the results of the medical evaluation. We hope to get some pool time in and maybe see a little of Saigon. Titi, we'll give Trang a call and try to schedule something with her for Saturday.



We didn't take a lot of photos today, but Ray did take a movie of us going through a traffic circle in Saigon along with a dozen cars and a gazillion scooters. If you want a good case of nausea, we'll screen it for you.



Thanks again for all the comments. We love reading them. We miss everyone back home. We're praying we can leave early, because we realized today we only left a week ago, and the prospect of another week and a half is daunting. It's not that this isn't the trip of the lifetime and a wonderful place, but living in a hotel room with a toddler is a challenge. I think it'll be better in Hanoi, where our hotel is more like an apartment.

Waiting for the Bus

P1010282
Originally uploaded by razweekly

Loc and Dad waiting to get on the bus for the Giving and Receiving Ceremony. As you'll see from other photos Loc equal like being in our arms.

Loc in the Pool

P1010477
Originally uploaded by razweekly

This was Loc in the pool with Dad. Holding dearly to the comfort items I was able to get his feet and sandals wet. Splashed a little on his arms but that was the limit today. More tomorrow from the pool atop Saigon.