I've had the time of my life

This is it. It's over. I'm heading to bed in a few minutes, and when I wake up, I re-enter the working world.

I don't want to make too much of a drama about this. Millions of women head to work every day, leaving their kids in someone else's care. There's nothing unique about this.

Except that it's killing me. Owen's speech therapist told me last week that every mom cries the first day back, so I shouldn't be too hard on myself. And Owen will be home with his dad. He'll have a great time. Ray will have a great time. It's going to be hardest on me.

It really has been an amazing ride. We went on a trip and came back with someone we'll know for the rest of our lives. I went on a trip and became a mom. It still blows my mind how much has happened in such a short time.

Being at home with him taught me how non-linear time is. Sometimes the days felt endless, sometimes they flew by. The weeks and months disappeared before I knew it.

Owen went from being a scared little boy who barely opened his mouth to a little motormouth who can say probably 100 words in English and is starting to put two-word sentences together. Since we've been home, I've gotten him off the bottle and sleeping through the night (most nights). He's become very attached to his grandparents, cousins, and his parents of course. He's met so many people and done so many things, and he rolls with all of it with amazing flexibility. He laughs and jokes and teases all the time now -- things that were unimaginable in July and August.

We still have transition issues. Getting him to go to sleep is an exercise in frustration for me most nights. Eating is fraught with issues, but he's learning to regulate his food a little better. The sensory integration issues are still tough -- I got bit twice today, and badly. And while sometimes he's pretty good about getting his needs met, other times he's just a little too go-with-the-flow. When he doesn't protest about being hungry or uncomfortable, you can see how much deprivation has shaped him.

But he's done amazingly well, considering all that's been asked of him since July 22. I am in awe of how the transition has gone.

So now we start a new routine. At what point in the day am I going to miss him the most? I think naptime, when I'd be snuggling with him in the rocking chair, under a soft blanket, with his little head on my shoulder. That's pretty hard to beat. On the other hand, there's pretty much zero chance I'll have to change a dirty diaper from 8 to 5 tomorrow.