New year, more blogging?

It's New Year's Day, and I've cleaned out two drawers. Yippee. At least I feel like I've started 2009 with some minor sense of accomplishment.

I have not updated the blog very much since mid-November. I was assuming no one was reading it, now that the big trip and homecoming are over and Owen's just another (adorable) kid and I'm just another jittery first-time mom.

But recent visits with friends and family have taught me that some of you out there are checking in, and you want more pictures and stories. So for 2009, I'll try to be a better blogger.

I missed a lot of milestones from mid-November on: Owen's first ER visit, his first Thanksgiving, his first visit to see Santa, and all the Christmas festivities. I can't really explain why I stopped chronicling all of these events. Partly the assumption of no audience (but then, I'm really writing this blog for Owen), but also partly because in mid-November I went into a major freakout (depression?) about returning to work. Sometimes I got so anxious about it, I didn't want to blog for fear of sounding like a basket case, and other times I was just too exhausted in the evenings, because I started a program of Making Every Day Count while I watched the clock run out on my maternity leave.

I know most everyone is conflicted about going back to work. I can't imagine what it's going to be like on January 12, when I pull out of the driveway and head to work instead of spending a leisurely morning giving Owen his breakfast, reading a book or two, and cuddling on the couch. For me, it's also the job itself, and the stress inherent in it. I'm sure I'll regain some passion for my work, but lately I've had this insane notion that I should go back to school -- at my age! -- and change careers to something that actually and literally saves lives. Because that sounds like the only option that has a chance of being more meaningful than spending my day with Owen.

Anxious, who me?

So here's a quick recap:

1. Owen's ER visit was in mid-November, right after my last blog entry. He had a high fever that spiked quickly, so over breakfast one morning he had a febrile seizure in Ray's arms. It was the longest 25 seconds of our lives. We rushed Owen to his doctor's office, where they got his fever down pretty quickly, but then they sent us to the ER for a fuller work-up than they could do at their office. Why a fuller work-up? Because at that point, he'd been home for three months, and we just can't answer questions like: Has he ever had one of these seizures before? Does he have a family history of X, Y, or Z? While the doctor thought it was likely "just" a febrile seizure, we had to rule out lots of other things, as well as figure out what was causing the fever.

So, we spent a day in a pediatric ER unit of a local hospital, and the poor child was poked and prodded far too much. They blew three lines before getting an IV in. They inserted TWO catheters -- the first one I could see under his skin while they jammed it, saying they couldn't get it into his bladder and would need a smaller gauge. He got a bloody nose during the nasal swab. And the whole time Ray and I were holding him down, and he was screaming, "Mom! Mom! Mom!"

But he was fine. Ten days of antibiotics for some undetermined, generic virus, and he was good as new. And seemed to forgive us for the Catheter Incident.

2. Thanksgiving was great. Big dinner, we all ate too much, and Owen was entertaining. He took my bowl of kale off of my plate before I could dish him out a toddler portion, and would not give it back. Of course, everyone laughed, which meant he just played to his audience, putting the bowl of kale nearly behind his back and saying, "No, no, no" to me.

3. All of the holiday festivities. I'll post photos soon, I promise. He sat on Santa's lap on two separate occasions and was fine both times. No tears, no bewilderment. He loves Christmas lights and snowmen, even though we've had no snow. He got a lot of presents, and he's been busy ever since with them. He was handsome in his Christmas sweater and his black velvet blazer.

For Ray and me, and for my family, it was a great time. I loved experiencing Christmas in a way I haven't since I was kid myself, and it's only going to get better -- by next year, he might have a better idea of who Santa is and why we're having this celebration. But this year, watching his eyes get big when he was Christmas lights was enough.

So, I'm wishing everyone a healthy and happy 2009, and I'll keep the blog posts coming.